I don’t have much trouble getting matches on Bumble, but I do have trouble keeping my conversations going. I’m currently having a dialogue with a man where most of his responses happen two weeks later and say, “Sorry, I stink at checking this thing.”
So how can I keep the conversation going when the other person doesn’t seem that into it? Well, after many failed efforts, I finally found some solutions that work.
If you have a Bumble match but no message back, here are some tactics you can use to finally get a response.
1. Personalize The First Line
In a video for Business Insider, Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe says that “response rates go up 60 percent when you personalize the first line” of your message. This can be as little as adding your match’s name to your message, instead of simply saying “hi.”
So when you’re trying to figure out how to start your message, remember to make it specific and personal to the person you’re messaging, whether it be pegged to their bio, photographs, name, or your mutual friends.
2. Ask Them About A Specific Photo
Asking about a specific photo will probably get you a specific response back. If there are pictures on your match’s profile of them hiking, for example, ask them what their favorite trails are. Photos of them on vacation? Ask them where they were and how the trip went.
The more precise your questions are, the more likely your match will feel engaged respond.
3. Inquire About Your Mutual Friends
On the app, Bumble will tell you the first and second degree friends you and your match have in common. So if you have mutual friends in common, you should bring them up in your message. Not only will this give you something to talk about, but it will also establish a sense of intimacy between you and your match, because your worlds are, in a sense, already slightly commingled.
From there, you may be able to tell funny stories about the people you know in common or even ask if they’re going to any upcoming events the people you both know are hosting. Even something as small as “so, how do you know this person?” is a good place to get the conversation started.
4. Compliment Them
According to a video from British TV personality and author Matthew Hussey, compliments might be the way to a someone’s heart. However, you don’t want to compliment them on something they can’t control (such as his eyes or height, for example). Instead, try complimenting something they’ve done to establish themselves, like their personal style or work ethic.
This will show your match you’re paying attention to them specifically. So if you’re hard pressed for conversation with that writer you’ve been messaging with, read some of their writing and circle back with some comments about one of the pieces you read.
5. Avoid Yes Or No Questions
Yes or no questions will get you nowhere when messaging a Bumble match. In order to keep a conversation going and get a person to message you back, keep the questions open-ended and specific to your match.
While some people suggest saying things like “tacos or pizza!?” in an opening message, I think those kinds of questions are dumb. Who cares? Does their answer dictate anything about their personality or what a potential relationship with them will be like? No. That is a cut-and-paste question, and frankly, I never respond to those. Do you?
Instead, ask open-ended questions about their friends, family, hobbies, profession, and even what they think about certain things that will actually drive a conversation forward and allow you to find things you have in common. However, don’t get too serious. Remember to keep it fun and flirty in the beginning.
If your Bumble match is not messaging you back, try out a few of these tactics. Be personal, complimentary, and ask open questions that will keep the conversation going. If they still don’t respond after all of that, then they weren’t worth your time anyway.
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Ali is a writer with bylines at Vice, Refinery 29, XO Jane, Hello Giggles, and Fashion Canada. Follow her on Twitter @OnlineAlison or Instagram @alibaby90.