It’s no secret that sex is an important part of a relationship. Obviously, it’s fun, it feels good, and it’s what distinguishes a romantic relationship from a friendship. But how often should you be doin’ it? Should you have sex every day?
That feels like a lot. A few times a week, I can manage. Special occasions? Definitely. My boyfriend’s birthday? It’s on my calendar.
But did you know having sex every day can potentially save your relationship and bring you and your partner closer together? I asked Damona Hoffman, Certified Dating and Relationship Coach, and Online Dating Expert Julie Spira, about some unexpected ways having sex more frequently will bring you and your partner closer together.
1. It Will Boost Oxytocin
If you know anything about love, then you probably know about oxytocin — the hormone that’s released during sex and cuddling that bonds you with someone.
“Having sex causes your body to release oxytocin which increases feelings of bonding toward your partner,” says Hoffman. Spira also adds that oxytocin can also be found “when a couple holds hands, kisses, and even when they look at a photo of their partner.” So the more affectionate you and your guy are, both by having sex or through something as little as holding hands, the closer you will feel to one another.
“The sex you have with your partner will increase the desire to keep having sex in new and fun ways,” says Spira. “You’ll think more about pleasing your partner and your daily routine will include sexy texts, which I call digital foreplay, to get you aroused and excited about being together again.”
2. You’ll Feel Less Lonely
“Loneliness is the driver for most cheaters, according to a recent study by the infidelity website Illicit Encounters,” Hoffman explains. “If you feel seen and appreciated by your partner, you will be less likely to be driven to a site like this for attention and a sense of belonging.”
While your partner should stay faithful to you whether or not you’re having regular sex, having sex more frequently will help strengthen the bond between you two, so you and your partner aren’t tempted to bond with someone else.
“Sex is a bonding experience. While men feel love toward their partner while having sex, women who feel loved desire to have sex with their partner,” explains Spira. “As a result, the more sex you have with your partner, the more bonded you become. More sex means you’ll feel sexier, happier, and will smile more. Even the daily struggles of life are minimized when you’re having regular sex.”
If sex will make you feel less lonely and happier with your partner, why wouldn’t you want that for your relationship?
3. You’ll Feel More Trusting
Stressed out because you don’t trust your partner? Well, try having sex with them a little more often. Hoffman says, “Neurological studies show that physical touch actually can make you feel more trust in your relationship and reduce your overall stress level.”
According to Psychology Today, physical touch helps you feel more engaged with your partner and gives you a sense of “overall wellbeing,” which might lead to the increase of trust in your relationship.
4. You’ll Feel More Joy and Creativity
Sex makes you feel confident and happy. I don’t need an expert to tell me that. Who doesn’t like to orgasm or feel desired by the person that they like?
“When you’re sexually active with your partner, just hearing the sound of their customized text tone or looking at photos of the two of you will bring more joy to your relationship,” Spira says. “Having frequent sex means you’ll want to spend more time pleasing your partner, which means you’ll get more creative and try something new and sexy together.”
The more creative you are in the bedroom, the more fun you will have and the more playful your relationship will get, which is a dynamic you definitely want with your partner.
5. It Will Open Lines Of Communication
Having sex frequently will also increase the level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, because sex requires a certain amount of vulnerability and trust.
“Bonding sexually is the most intimate experience you can share with your partner. If your routine includes foreplay and after play, you’ll be able to open up emotionally and talk about anything together,” says Spira.
So it looks like if you’re searching for a way to feel closer to your partner, having sex more frequently — even every day — might be the way to do it.
Spira concludes, “I say look at sex as the joyous, sexy, and romantic buffet in your life. There’s nothing like a great morning of sex to keep you smiling the whole day through.”
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Ali is a writer with bylines at Vice, Refinery 29, XO Jane, Hello Giggles, and Fashion Canada. Follow her on Twitter @OnlineAlison or Instagram @alibaby90.