When you date in your 20s, things don’t seem so serious. You’re hanging out in clubs. You’re getting drunk a lot. Somehow, your romance involves a lot of frat parties, bar crawls, and your boyfriend holding your hair back when you puke. How cute!
But when you get to your 30s, dating gets more intimate, and there are things your partner should know about you if you want your relationship to last.
What are they? Oh, you know. Just some basic, intimate truths, ranging from not wanting kids to secretly loving reality television.
So if you’re looking for your relationship to go the long haul, then here are some things you should tell your partner in your 20s so you have no secrets in your 30s.
1. Your Family Is Crazy
If your family is crazy, then let your SO know off the bat. Because a few years into dating, he is bound to find out. An overbearing mother or a grumpy daddy is not something that can be hidden for long.
While you might be able to hide disastrous in-laws in your 20s — if you’re in college, or living in another city or something — things are bound to get serious in your 30s once you get marriage-minded, and you’ll eventually have to meet the parents.
So get things out in the open ASAP. If you have an older brother who is a little loco, let your lover know. Most likely, he’s not going to care.
2. You Are Pro-Plastic Surgery
The minute I turned 30, I started getting Botox. I’m loud and proud about it, baby. I have also had a #nosejob. If you were to look at any baby pictures of me, it’s pretty darn obvious.
Is a little nip and tuck for everyone? Absolutely not. But if you are au natural in your 20s, and then turn 30 and come home looking like a statue (or Kylie Jenner), your significant other is probably going to be a little bit confused — or think he’s cheating on you with someone else, or being conned into some elaborate role play.
If you’re giving your face a little tune up, don’t be embarrassed. Low-key, everyone does it. Be honest about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. God invented plastic surgeons!
3. You Keep Up With The Kardashians
Reality TV is my safe space. I would literally watch paint dry if it was playing on Bravo.
For a long time, I would hide my serious passion for trash television from my partners. I did not want my loved ones to know that I was a literal garbage person when it came to watching television. However, once you are spending a significant amount of time with someone, and especially if you move in with them, they are bound to find out.
Get your interests out of the way off the bat in your 20s when you are dating someone, so when you’re in your 30s, you can decompress after work with a jug of wine and Bridget Jones without worrying that your boyfriend will judge you.
Honesty is the best policy, and honestly: I watch every single Real Housewives show on Bravo.
4. Kids Aren’t Your Thing
Obviously, if you don’t want kids, don’t string someone along and not tell them. I mean, imagine spending a decade with someone thinking they’re your future, and then finding out that you’re on different pages when it comes to procreation?
It goes without saying that if babies are a deal breaker for you, then get that out of the way, fast. You don’t want to disclose that secret when you’re in your 30s.
5. You Actually Hate The Movie Die Hard
I recently realized that I, a major people pleaser, had watched the movie Die Hard with every single boyfriend I have ever had and pretended that I had never seen it before.
What’s with guys loving to mansplain Bruce Willis films to girls that they like?
Here is the thing: I’m not a huge fan of Bruce Willis, and I certainly don’t like the movie Die Hard. And I’ve spent nearly a decade of my life holding on to that deep, dark, secret.
I’m here to say that, much like The Kardashians, if you don’t like something, then let your partner know. You don’t want to be deep in to a relationship and be having action movie marathons when it is your least favorite genre. I’m changing my Bumble bio to “I hate Bruce Willis” r n.
So, dating in your 20s is a little more fun, flirty, and free than dating in your 30s. But if you’re looking for your relationship to have a real future, then honesty is the best policy from the very start.
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Ali is a writer with bylines at Vice, Refinery 29, XO Jane, Hello Giggles, and Fashion Canada. Follow her on Twitter @OnlineAlison or Instagram @alibaby90.