My husband and I talk a lot about a lot of things literally all the time. And since being married, I’ve learned there are certain things you should talk to your partner about every day that help keep the spark alive and the love flowing. Of course, any long-term, committed couple who believes they are “forever partners” is going to have serious things to discuss every day as well — things like finances and maybe the possibility of having kids one day.
But these aren’t those types of conversations.
Rather, these are the things you should talk about with your forever person that are designed specifically to make sure the two of you stay connected, happy, and in love over the course of your relationship.
1. The Conversation About The Present
One thing you should talk to your partner about every day is, well, today. But it’s not as simple as a “Honey, how was your day?”
My husband and I have relationship “check ins” every day where we just kind of sit down and see how they other is doing. Not what they did that day, but how it all felt.
While checking in with your partner about their day is great, you should be digging a little deeper to find out what’s really going on with them. In your daily conversation about the present, you should talk to them about what’s new in their life, how they are feeling in general (like their health or their mental state), if they’re worried about anything, and if they feel connected to you.
Talking to your partner about the present every single day will ensure you continue to build a strong, connected relationship.
2. The Conversation About The Future
The present, though, isn’t enough. You should also talk to your partner about the future every day. Every day, really? Yup. Every single day.
But I’m not talking about “the future” like you’re imagining it. I don’t mean sitting down and having serious conversations about what’s to come. I mean having fun, connection-building conversations about what the two of you have planned that you love and value.
My husband and I like to talk about our long-term plans as a couple a lot. We’re planning to build a tiny house over the next year, and my husband is in the middle of his Board exams to become a licensed chiropractor. We like to talk about those things because the conversations help keep us excited about them.
It’s not just that, though. We also talk about trips we’re planning on taking, music festivals and raves we want to go to, and what we’re going to do this weekend. Talking about “the future” doesn’t have to be scary. It can be one of the best ways to visualize the life the two of you want to build — together.
3. The Conversation About The Past
My husband and I also talk about the past every day. But probably not like you’re thinking we do.
We don’t sit there and rehash stuff that pissed us off in the past. Instead, we relive good memories together.
Part of being with your forever partner is realizing they are going to be there, well, forever. And you can’t keep passion and spark alive just by going through the motions every day, hoping it all works out. You have to work to keep the passion.
One of the ways you can do that is to reignite the flames you remember being phenomenal. For example, sometimes, it’ll be as simple as sending my husband a text about that one wild night we had or sitting next to him on the couch and saying, “Remember that fabulous vegan food we had on our honeymoon?”
Reminding your partner about great times the two of you had can be a very easy, low-key thing to do, and it will keep you both primed for great times to come.
4. The Conversation About Your Goals As Individuals
Your goals as a couple are nice, of course, and it’s good to keep them in mind. That said, one thing you should do with your forever partner every day is remember to talk about your goals as individuals.
My husband knows I’ve always considered writing a novel, and part of my personal goals list before the end of this year is to have my legal practice up and running, with as little time spent working on it as possible. I know he is focused first and foremost on finding a chiropractic practice that fits him.
These things have nothing to do with us as a couple, but they are instead about things we want to do as individuals. And by talking about them with each other every day, we ‘re both reminded that we actually are still individuals, even though we’re part of a unit. It also helps remind us that the other is there to be supportive of our goals no matter what.
5. The Conversation About Your Love
The most important thing that my husband and I talk about every day is our love. It might be gross, and it might be gushy, but the truth is, we spend a little bit of time every day talking about how much we love each other, how grateful we are for our life together, and how lucky we feel.
With long-term couples, especially those who may be married and/or have children, it’s too easy to get caught in the trap of talking about all the “administrative” stuff: the household duties, the bills, the groceries, etc. But that’s crap because that is not the stuff relationships are built on.
With your forever partner, you should spend a little time every single day nurturing your love. My husband and I do, and it has made all the difference in our bond.
Although every couple is different, there are certain things the healthiest, most loving couples have in common. Talking about the things on this list with your forever partner every day will keep your relationship happy and on the right track to grow and move forward.
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